To the tune of 'One Night in Bankok'
====================================

The TECHIE:
Hancock! Rural town setting,
And the town don't know what the town is getting --
The Creme de la creme of the schoolworld in a
Show with everything but Real People

Time flies, doesn't seem a minute
Since Fisher Hall had a BBS in it
All change- Don't you know that when you
Learn at this level there's no ordinary venue

It's Cal Tech - or Rensalier - or
 Stanford - or - or THIS place!


CHORUS:
One night in Hancock and your grade point tumbles
The food is pasties and the beer ain't free
You'll find a sheep in every green, green pasture
And if you're lucky then the Sheep's a she
I can feel Drenovsky sliding up to me


TECHIE:
One town's very like another
When you're head's down over your keyboard, brother


CHORUS:
It's a drag, its a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the screen, not looking at the city


TECHIE:
Whaddya mean? You've seen one crowded, polluted frat party-


CHORUS:
Houghton - cold & Bright
Dean Belote's every student's fright


TECHIE:
The Pain! You're speaking with a tourist
Whose every move destroys the purist!
I get my kicks below the waistline, Sunshine


TECHIE:
The UP's gonna be the Witness
To the ultimate test of Cerebral Fitness
This grips me more than would a
Šmuddy old mine shaft or a homely yooper

And thank God I'm only watching the test-controlling it-

I don't see you guys rating
the kind of scores I'M contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you,
But the tests we use would NOT excite you

So you'd better go back to your bars,
your pasties, your community colleges


CHORUS: (*)
One Night in Hancock and your grade point tumbles
The food is pasties but the beer ain't free
You'll find a sheep in every green, green pasture
A little flesh a little history
I can feel Drenovsky sliding up to me